Nevermind

[momijizukamori]

Screw feeling abandoned, I now feel replaced. Did I really mean that little to you, that you can just do that? Fuck. I hate my life. And Calc 1, which is unfortunately part of my life.

I have a new copy of Good Omens and some new Fruits Basket, and somehow this doesn't cheer me up at all -.-

Comments

[nerdraeg.livejournal.com]

Well, while I know it isn't my place to say anything on this, as I certainly do not know you all too well; besides the few delightful entries I do happen upon; I hope you won't mind my attempting anyway.

The feeling of being superceded or left behind is one of the worst sentiments we as humans can experience. This is for all sorts of reasons. Sometimes, because we're not ready to let go ourselves. Other times, it's because we realize how much we've given up for something that may not have worked out. I mean, there are probably a billion reasons, and all of them are equally nagging- which may be the worst of it, the fact that its always lingering somewhere in the back of your mind. The fact that the feeling dulls with time isn't helpful at all when the wounds are still raw. But what I can tell you, knowing absolutely zilch about what you are referring to in the first place, is this--

People, things, emotions, and memories can never be lost, or abandoned, or replaced. Because, as long as there was even one moment where you held that person or thing dear, or where you felt that emotion or made that memory; then it is with you forever. It happened. And you cannot ever change its effects on you. No person can ever be replaced- not really. Even if one day you love someone, and the next day, you decide you hate them; the fact that you did love them once will always exist. And so I hope you cheer up soon, because you seem like a truly great person; very intelligent, and wonderfully creative.

While that probably wasn't helpful at all, at least you have an excellent book waiting to be read that maybe can take you mind off of things. Neil Gaiman is a God. Might also like - White Oleander (Janet Fitch), Cloud of Sparrows (Takashi Matsuoka), Lolita (Vladimir Nabokov), or A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius (Dave Eggers).

[brainmuffin.livejournal.com]

What did I do now?

[momijizukamori]

Well, the fact that you've still got me blocked and refuse to speak to me, for one. For another, the fact that you're replacing both me and Mara in your little X group for Otakon next summer, which you're doing with one of my _friends_. You know how much that hurts? It hurts a lot.

[brainmuffin.livejournal.com]

I don't have you blocked. I haven't been online.

Cassandra asked if Chris would be her Seishirou. You have a Subaru. I have no way of knowing if you're even going to Otakon, especially considering your refusal to come with me this year.

Perhaps if you would like to have cosplay plans, with me or anyone else, you should make some.

[momijizukamori]

Well, you had me blocked. It's a bit hard to tell if you're online or not when that happens.

I may have interpreted it wrong, but there definately seemed some implications that you were joining them in X cosplay? And you've kind of killed most of the groups we had going by refusing to acknowledge to existance of one of the main members - I'm working under the assumption that anything involving both you and Mara isn't happening any more. Which is pretty much everying other than my FF7 cosplay, which I have no idea if you were in on or not anyway.

[brainmuffin.livejournal.com]

I'll do X cosplay with them if they want me to, sure. I don't mind doing cosplay groups with Mara, but I don't know what I'm going to have time for this upcoming year with the plans I have already.

I'm definitely not going to have time for Cloud, sorry.

[momijizukamori]

Well, it's kind of hard to have a group where two members won't speak to each other. And this means we're not doing KKM or Cain, or any other X/TB stuff? Or you're not, at any rate.

*shrug* Your loss, I guess - this will probably be my last masquerade in the area, unless I get into MIT, which is unlikely. I would have liked to share it with you, but if you've got all sorts of other plans you haven't bothered to share with the rest of us, so be it.

[brainmuffin.livejournal.com]

I don't know whether or not I'm doing KKM. I'd like to do a Cain group. You and Mara are the ones with all the TB/X plans, not me.

I'm not going to reply to the second paragraph, because I'm really weary of it.

[momijizukamori]

Well, if you'd like to do Cain, I'd suggest actually trying to work things out with Mara. Because there's not much point to a cosplay group if we're all going to sit around not speaking to each other.

[brainmuffin.livejournal.com]

There's nothing to work out, Cocoa. I'm fine with hanging around with Mara for cons/photoshoots, chatting, etc.

If you and/or her refuse to do Cain cosplay with me, that's fine too.

[grayhour.livejournal.com]

Considering you've not spoken to me in a month, I somehow doubt that, Claudia. What exactly are you saying?

[brainmuffin.livejournal.com]

If Cocoa wants to do cosplay groups involving both of us, I wouldn't mind that. If you don't want to do cosplay groups with me, I don't mind that either.

[momijizukamori]

...I'm inclined to agree with Mara, because you show all signs of trying to do your best to pretend she doesn't exist, to the point where when I suggest an attempt at reconciliation, you either immediately block me or sign off.

[brainmuffin.livejournal.com]

I've already discussed this with both of you. I have nothing more to say.

[brainmuffin.livejournal.com]

Okay, I will say that I'd be happy to do a masquerade with you, but I don't have the time, money or inclination to do Cloud.

[momijizukamori]

I'd be more than happy to help with the armor and such, which are pretty much the only time-consuming bits of Cloud, aside from the wig. If you'd like to do someone else from FF7, you can, but I really would have liked you as my Cloud.

[brainmuffin.livejournal.com]

For AB? I don't know. I would like to work on other projects with you, say, our swords for KKM if we do that, but I don't know if I have the money to take on another costume.

I'd be more inclined to cosplay someone who hasn't already been done to death, anyway. Or who, um, actually has a personality.

[momijizukamori]

Well, KKM is a second priority to me now - Sephiroth is my senior project. And Cloud has been done often, but not well. What else are you _doing_?

[brainmuffin.livejournal.com]

You know, I changed my mind. I am going to reply to the second paragraph.

Number one, you're really beginning to sound like those prentious, conceited friends of yours I hate so much.

Number two, I'd like to know how it's my loss if I don't do a costume for you that I don't want to do. Because I'll miss the incredible chance to bask in the glory that is cosplaying with you?

[momijizukamori]

...Because you're missing a chance to do something fun with me and do a masquerade group with me before I leave for college? My loss as well, but I'm doing Sephiroth no matter what.

And if by 'prentious, conceited friends' you mean Clare, I don't see where I'm claiming I'm OMG the best [insert character here] cosplayer EVAR and nobody else can do that character but me and chewing out other people who do the costume. If you mean someone else, well, I'd really like to know who.

[brainmuffin.livejournal.com]

Where do you get the idea that it would be fun? It doesn't sound like it would be any fun to me.

Yes, I mean Clare.

[momijizukamori]

...If spending time with me and sharing activities isn't fun, why are you even bothering replying? No, really. I'm kind of confused here.

[brainmuffin.livejournal.com]

And Cocoa, I have no way of knowing who all your online friends are, especially when someone else suggests my friend cosplays with them and their friend.

Please, for your own sake, find something better to do than lurking around my journal.

[momijizukamori]

Well, as it's someone we had plans to cosplay with last summer, who I talk about a decent amount, I thought you would probably at least have _some_ clue.

And what, I'm not allowed to take an interest in what happens with people I care about?

[brainmuffin.livejournal.com]

No. I have no clue what your friend's LJ usernames are.

You're allowed to do anything you want.