momijizukamori: Isamu Nitta from Shin Megami Tensei Nocturne. The text reads 'solitude' (Isamu | solitude)
Ngh this week. Basically, as I have told a bunch of people, I've started doing sales on top of my data entry/web dev stuff because I can actually be polite to customers. Hooray more hours, more money, but fuck is handling sales a lot of responsibility. Not that we get a ton of in-person ones (and I'm not doing online or phone sales) but furniture means handling a lot of money.

On top of that, I needed to get my meds refilled, oh, about a week and a half ago. Not because I don't have the prescription or the money, but because I have been too tired and depressed to go by the pharmacy. Which I know is 1) stupid and 2) a sign that yes I really should go because not getting meds is almost certainly contributing to me feeling tired and depressed. So my mood has kind bottomed out a bit this week and I'm getting either angry, anxious, or both about like every fucking stupid little thing, and then I hate myself for getting upset about something so stupid.

ffffffff I know this is all just messed up neurotransmitters but at the moment it is actually taking effort to not like quit mainstream RP and just go back to my musebox and RP that doesn't feel like such a popularity contest, fuck. I know a lot of fun comes out of big games and stuff but right now I feel like mainstream RP is just killing me with how toxic the community is. I actually stepped away from a lot of the cosplay communities for the same reason.

idk, toss me a link to cute/funny/awesome stuff. That'd probably help more than hugs right now.
momijizukamori: Green icon with white text - 'I do believe in phosphorylation! I do!' with a string of DNA basepairs on the bottom (Leon Kennedy // Lone Wolf)
So, I actually made a schedule of my day this afternoon, and realized I have appalling little free time before eleven o'clock, which is what's been leading to me not sleeping enough. It's definately starting to take it's toll, though, as I can tell my depression is coming back - I've been down for the last two weeks, and I'm started to feel really distanced from most of my friends. It's not their fault I'm so busy, but it's still a little upsetting when everyone goes off to do things without me. I'm going to see what I can do about cutting my schedule down, though.

The crazy landlady drama is also apparently not over, as a scholarship cheque has been mailed to that address, as nobody bothered to double-check with me if that address was still correct. I really, really don't want to deal with her, but it's five hundred dollars, so I have to. I'm also waiting on some packages that haven't showed up here yet - should have been shipped directly here, so I guess they're stuck at the border.

Drama Updates

Tuesday, 4 September 2007 15:50
momijizukamori: Green icon with white text - 'I do believe in phosphorylation! I do!' with a string of DNA basepairs on the bottom (Tax Seaon // Evil!Tatsumi)
So apparently the stupid isn't coming from my roommate, it's coming from my landlady via my roommate, because she hasn't bothered to contact me. It's escalated, and if it looks like I won't get my security deposit, I'm going to say 'fuck you, I never signed a rental agreement' so I don't have to pay any of the bullshit cleaning charges she seems to be trying to slap on us. I'm sick of all this crap.
momijizukamori: Green icon with white text - 'I do believe in phosphorylation! I do!' with a string of DNA basepairs on the bottom (Tax Seaon // Evil!Tatsumi)
I know nobody here has an answer, but I just kind of have to be confused at _someone_ - why have I suddenly been removed as a maintainer over at S_F? It's the total randomness of the timing that confuses me most, I think.

Well. Time to start archiving entries for nostalgia in case she does something truely idiotic like delete them. And the bitter passive-aggresive part of me wants to delete the images from my server in retribution, but that accomplishes nothing.

Lab today was interesting, although slightly less so than yesterday because there was a lot more watching involved - making gels, and one of the key ingredients is a potent neurotoxin, so we weren't allowed to mix or pour the actual liquid. And I really need to do laundry, but I also just want to curl up in my nice warm bed and sleep.

EDIT: Alright, went and archived all the S_F entries, as well as the Lobby and everybody's character LJs save Asher and Ally ('cause they're mine and going nowhere). If anyone would like to benefit from my insanity and have a zip file of them all, leave a comment XD;

EDIT 2: Don't get me wrong, I actually do like the Red Hot Chili Peppers a great deal. But if I have to hear 'Dani California' blaring down the hall one more time, heads will roll. Floormate, get some different music, and RHCP, please write about something that isn't drug use and/or SoCal. It's old.

*grumble*

Tuesday, 21 November 2006 17:11
momijizukamori: Green icon with white text - 'I do believe in phosphorylation! I do!' with a string of DNA basepairs on the bottom (Tax Seaon // Evil!Tatsumi)
I wonder which is preferable - being outright angry with one or two people, or just being vaguely annoyed with a whole lot of people.

Bleh. Back to forcing myself to write some of my Bio report so I'm not stuck doing all of it next Wednesday night.

Dear World

Thursday, 2 November 2006 13:16
momijizukamori: Green icon with white text - 'I do believe in phosphorylation! I do!' with a string of DNA basepairs on the bottom (Tax Seaon // Evil!Tatsumi)
Fuck you too.

No love,
Me

(No, nothing big. Just a shitty week, and I'm in one of those moods where I feel like picking a fight with somebody - been on the verge of it all day. I recommend keeping your distance.)
momijizukamori: Green icon with white text - 'I do believe in phosphorylation! I do!' with a string of DNA basepairs on the bottom (Leon Kennedy // Lone Wolf)
I want to cosplay default RE4 Leon (have for a while, actually), but I've been going 'augh, so expensive' about it. I've also been contemplating doing STARS!Wesker, instead. And then I realized that half their gear? The same XD; I'll have to whip out the RE Archives book and take a good look, but I might be able to do two costumes for the price of one, w00t.

D:

Wednesday, 1 November 2006 17:24
momijizukamori: Green icon with white text - 'I do believe in phosphorylation! I do!' with a string of DNA basepairs on the bottom (Sparda : Sins)
I hate it in when IRL problems with people get in the way of fan-fun. I really want to go to Tales of Anime, but man, do I know a horribly awkward situation when I see it. Yaoicon was bad enough, and I had lots of other people to back me up, in a way, there. Almost all of whom will be at Sakuracon that weekend (not saying Yaoicon was bad - I had fun. But it would have been a lot more fun if not for a few other people there). And I have to worry about that if I go to AB, too. Because it seems like everybody else is friends with Claudia again - I don't hate her or anything, but oh so awkward.

And yeah, going to Sakuracon is an option, but that con fills me with hate, on principle, and there are people I want to see at ToA, too.

Boo.

Thursday, 26 October 2006 20:21
momijizukamori: Green icon with white text - 'I do believe in phosphorylation! I do!' with a string of DNA basepairs on the bottom (Sparda : Sins)
Getting upset over stupid, stupid things once again. I wish I didn't set standards for myself I can't actually achieve.

I think I'm going to watch more Supernatural. And study for my goddamn Bio midterm.
momijizukamori: Green icon with white text - 'I do believe in phosphorylation! I do!' with a string of DNA basepairs on the bottom (Sparda : Sins)
I just put my finger on one of the things that's been bugging me over the last couple of days, and I poke through Y-con photos - by a certain standard, I'm not a very good cosplayer. Oh, sure, the costumes are beautiful. I am, dare a I say it, excellent at craftsmanship. But the costumes may as well be on a dressform for how they look on me. The one and only character I cosplay that I actually look like the character as is Tatsumi - the rest of the time it just looks like me, wearing someone else's clothing.

I look through the photos and I hate how I look in them - I probably have close to two hundred photos of the various Seishirou outfits I've done, and I don't like any of them. And the same is true for Subaru, and Ada, and Leon. It's so frustrating, because I like the characters, I like making costumes, but I tend to live by the standard of 'if you can't do it well, why bother doing it at all' and there isn't really much I can do to make it any better - yeah, I could maybe improve my make-up skills some, but there's only so much even that can do.

Saw It Coming

Tuesday, 24 October 2006 22:51
momijizukamori: Green icon with white text - 'I do believe in phosphorylation! I do!' with a string of DNA basepairs on the bottom (Leon Kennedy // Lone Wolf)
Ahh, good old post-con depression. The arrival of which doesn't surprise me in the least. Unfortunately, not even chocolate seems to be helping today - I'm kind of feeling down about nearly everything at the moment, and all the school stuff I need to get done this week isn't helping.

*sigh* I think I need a hug, of the real-life variety. Hopefully next week will be better. At least I won't have midterms, anyway.

Oh, and does anyone have suggestions for a photo-organizing script that isn't Gallery? Re-installing it hasn't solved the problems, which means that the people on the forums were probably right - it's one of the Apache modules my host is running that's causing the problem, which means I'm screwed.

PSAs

Sunday, 15 October 2006 18:36
momijizukamori: Green icon with white text - 'I do believe in phosphorylation! I do!' with a string of DNA basepairs on the bottom (Tax Seaon // Evil!Tatsumi)
Bloody Palace mode is deeply, deeply cathartic.

And the neighbor may be even more of a total bitch than I thought, although more on that will come once I make sure I'm not jumping to conclusions here.

Back to killing things, now.

Argh

Sunday, 8 October 2006 11:33
momijizukamori: Green icon with white text - 'I do believe in phosphorylation! I do!' with a string of DNA basepairs on the bottom (Tax Seaon // Evil!Tatsumi)
I just had a dream that, while deeply interesting while it was happening, instantly put me into an utterly foul mood when I woked up and realized what I had just dreamed about.

If I have no hair at Y-con, it will be because I have torn it all out while screaming in frustration.

(although, if all the senior angels really are that much of snotty bitches, I can see why Raphael would pick humans instead)

And now I'm going to _try_ to get some more sleep instead of musing on how deeply unhappy and annoyed I am at the moment. Argh argh argh.

A Thought

Friday, 6 October 2006 21:40
momijizukamori: Green icon with white text - 'I do believe in phosphorylation! I do!' with a string of DNA basepairs on the bottom (Leon Kennedy // Lone Wolf)
I think many of my problems in life would be solved by getting laid. Unfortunately, this seems to require being straight and having no standards, neither of which are true.

Damnit.
momijizukamori: Green icon with white text - 'I do believe in phosphorylation! I do!' with a string of DNA basepairs on the bottom (Tax Seaon // Evil!Tatsumi)
Dear neighbor, I don't fucking care if quiet hours end at seven am. Eight thirty on a Sunday morning is too damned early for your bass to be throbbing through my room. I also don't care if you were watching Friends last night, and turned it off at twelve-thirty instead of one. I could still hear it. And guess what? I can hear you now, too, talking loudly to someone in Chinese! At two am! Fuck you!

Dear floormates, you actually seem like a tolerable bunch, but please, please stop asking me the same damned question. Yes, Massachusetts is sort of far away. But I am getting really sick of people asking me 'Why did you come here?' and giving the same answer. Do you ask all the international students, or is it just because I'm American? Really.

Dear friends, I have my reasons for the decisions I've made in the last year or so. Technically, these are entirely my bussiness, and thus not your's, but I will enlighten you anyway. It apparently comes as a surprise to some of you that these reasons are not simply 'Jo'. No, they're really not. I do in fact have my own opinions, reasons, and life, outside of Jo. And, in the future if you want to know my thoughts, actually ask me instead of someone I am barely on speaking terms with, instead of making assumptions.

Yes, I know, I'm a bit short at the moment, but I have had it up to here with these things. I do actually like you all (well, save neighbor and those who are already well-aware of my opinions of them). And neighbor has finally shut the hell up, so I'm going to try and sleep.
momijizukamori: Green icon with white text - 'I do believe in phosphorylation! I do!' with a string of DNA basepairs on the bottom (Leon Kennedy // Lone Wolf)
I really feel like doing something creative, but every time I try, I run up against some sort of block. Have a half-finished layout - I'm happy with what I've got so far, but it needs something more, and I can't figure out what; I'd like to do some RP, but I still have no one on AIM, and honestly, I don't have the energy a big LJ-based game takes; I have things I want to draw, but while my art is better than it was a year ago, it's still utter crap, and I can't move past that; I've got about a million and one half-finished story bits, mostly fic, although with a few Issac-Raphael bits, but I can't concentrate long enough to add anything coherent to any of them.

Argh. This is driving me up the wall. I don't want to get stuck in the rut of just doing school stuff all the time.

Dear Self

Thursday, 28 September 2006 17:06
momijizukamori: Green icon with white text - 'I do believe in phosphorylation! I do!' with a string of DNA basepairs on the bottom (Leon Kennedy // Lone Wolf)
You are getting way to worked up about this, and it's because you're tired. Being tired always makes things seem ten times worse than they actually are. Take a step back, eat your chocolate bar, and at least attempt to be rational about this, particularly because you did kind of make an ass of yourself there.

Or if you can't be rational about it, call and make an appointment with counselling, because it's what they're there for. But you are _not_ going to let this sit around and become a huge mess. We're through with that, alright?

Love,
Me

PS: Study for that chem midterm!

Insane

Sunday, 24 September 2006 00:17
momijizukamori: Green icon with white text - 'I do believe in phosphorylation! I do!' with a string of DNA basepairs on the bottom (Tax Seaon // Evil!Tatsumi)
The bass, it is making me craaaaazy. Fifty minutes until quiet hours start @.@ Also, people - talk to me? Not necessarily right now, as I may go off and try to get some homework done, but like...in general. I'm on MSN and AIM lots, but I'm convinced most of you secretly hate me or something, and having one sided-conversations suck tremendously, so I've given up trying to IM all but the three or four people I know will actually talk to me.

In good news, I have a tv now (which was really fucking heavy, let me tell you), and more Dante, of the gigantic lit-geeky sort. Although speaking of the other Dante...what made him think cowboy boots/pants that look like cowboy boots (I can't tell, that's the scariest bit) were a good idea? They weren't. They're worse than the manbra.

...The chair I'm sitting in is _vibrating_ with the bass. WHYYYYYY.

Kiiiiiill

Saturday, 23 September 2006 11:21
momijizukamori: Green icon with white text - 'I do believe in phosphorylation! I do!' with a string of DNA basepairs on the bottom (Default)
I'm _this_ close to just totally snapping and killing someone. I had to ask the girl next door to turn her music down last night at 12:30 when I went to bed, and I was woken up by it again at ten this morning. And earplugs do nothing, because it's her fucking bass. It's high enough that it makes things in my room vibrate, and _nothing_ blocks it. I was also woken up by what I suspect was two very drunk people talking very loudly in the hall at two thirty.

Net result? I haven't had a good night's sleep in a month, and it's turning me into an emotional wreck, because lack of sleep makes a total mess of my moods. I can't even take naps, because the bass is _constant_.

Today is Colour Wars, but fuck that. I hate my house, I don't want to support them. I'm going to sit around wearing black and glaring at people with my headphones on, and then go get myself a tv.

Ugh.

Monday, 4 September 2006 17:21
momijizukamori: Green icon with white text - 'I do believe in phosphorylation! I do!' with a string of DNA basepairs on the bottom (Tax Seaon // Evil!Tatsumi)
Unless things change drastically in the next couple of days, I am going to go crazy living here this year. It seems like I may have gotten stuck on a floor more inclined to partying and standing around talking loudly, in the halls that echo like crazy. There are all of two people (out of about twenty) I am at all inclined to actually like.

I went into the city for a while, which provided a bit of a respite. Wandered around the gay section of town, and chatted with one of the clerks in a club-wear store and got tips on where to buy cheap groceries. Bought cheap groceries, and then realized that it's kind of a pain to walk around with lots of groceries, so I came back here, to the noise.

...I think the promise of free food has lured everybody else out. Free food sounds good, but around here 'BBQ' apparently means 'overcooked hamburgers' (and just hamburgers - the cheese either disappears in the first five minutes, or doesn't exist to begin with), and I am sick of that.

Goddamn am I in a foul mood. I think I need to go kill things for a while.

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