momijizukamori: Isamu Nitta from Shin Megami Tensei Nocturne. The text reads 'solitude' (Isamu | solitude)
So, Cos & Effect is kind of a tiny con here in Vancouver (where we now have three summer cons because of... a lot of stupidity). It's technically a costuming/alternative fashion con rather than an anime con, and I feel like this year they really set out to prove that - three guests of honor who are well known cosplayers (one of whom does costuming as a business), and the costuming designer for the last three Stargate series; amazing prizes for the costume contest; and a ton of costuming panels of all levels. I went to ten different panels over the last three days and enjoyed all of them, where I'm usually lucky to find one or two that look even vaguely appealing at a con.

One of the themes that seemed to resonate through a lot of the panels (and that I've also seen in some of the costuming community here on tumblr) is the idea of cosplaying for you. That it should be about you feeling comfortable (okay, except maybe the deliberate sacrifices we sometimes make in suffering for our art *g*), and good about yourself, and happy in your costume - not about arbitrary standards of comparison, or tearing each other down.

And for myself, I ended up thinking a lot about the idea of mastery and growing in skill as a costumer. I've been doing this for... at least ten years now, which is a really goddamn long time, and I've definitely learned a lot over that time, but I'm not at the level I'd like to be at, or the level I think I could be at. It's a problem with seeing the details as I progress, or in patience, maybe, and it crops up other places too - my writing and coding in particular stand out as things that suffer from it. Writing doesn't get finished, or doesn't get explored as thoroughly as an idea deserves. Code either has bugs someone else has to catch, or I get frustrated and give up.

They had a Costuming Guest Q&A panel, so I took the opportunity to ask, basically, 'what general advice would you give for moving from intermediate level cosplay to mastery?' And I felt like the answers were good, and all very true:

-practice, practice, practice
-have patience
-give yourself enough time
-...but set some deadlines, because they force you to innovate
-accept that sometimes you're going to have to start over

Definitely things for me to think about as I start in planning for Teslacon and next year. My particular mix of brain chemistry is probably playing in to some of these problems, too, but that's a different dimension to work on

Neon Lights

Tuesday, 21 April 2009 03:14
momijizukamori: Green icon with white text - 'I do believe in phosphorylation! I do!' with a string of DNA basepairs on the bottom (Astareal)
Sometimes, in the small hours of the morning, this hits me so hard it's almost painful.

(When I was home at Christmas, I convinced my mom to take me to the Museum of Science, which is hands down my favorite museum in the world. We parked on the roof of the parking garage, because with it being winter break, the place was packed. When we went to get the car after the museum closed, dusk was falling over the Boston skyline. It was achingly beautiful, and I wish I had been able to capture it on film, to keep forever)

A Confession

Saturday, 5 May 2007 23:33
momijizukamori: Green icon with white text - 'I do believe in phosphorylation! I do!' with a string of DNA basepairs on the bottom (Dante/Virgil)
I have a hard time really, truly hating people, and a hard time holding grudges. I think this is because of a number of things - first, I can never really work up the emotion to actually hate anyone not close to me. Dislike, yes, but for the most part, there can't be any real deep personal-level dislike because, well, they're not close enough to be able to hurt me or my relationships with others, and there's no real point in caring. Which means all the people I want to really, truly hate are former friends. Only my friends have the power to get me that worked up and angry, at least for more than five minutes (short-tempered, me? Yes). The problem there then because they were friends, I can still remember all those good moments back when I still liked and cared about the person, and part of me wants to forgive and be forgiven, because when it comes down to it, I want to like people, and I really, really want to be liked. And this leaves me feeling conflicted - how do you forgive someone who has done the unforgiveable, and reconcile what they did with who they used to be? Which is all topped off by my own stubborness - I want to be right, and for them to be wrong. I want to be able to just hate them. My dad would probably have some deep, sagely advice on the answer to this problem, but I don't.

(I know there've been lots of posts and a fair amount of navel-gazing lately - it's what happens when I have no work or school for a week, and half my friends have gone home and most of the rest are getting various summer thing set in action. I sit around and think waaaay too much. This will probably end next week when the insanity begins. Though I will inform you all if we have any geriatric tuna thieves.)
momijizukamori: Green icon with white text - 'I do believe in phosphorylation! I do!' with a string of DNA basepairs on the bottom (Default)
-Tabletop RP
-See Rocky Horror, the whole she-bang (which means finding someone who's been to take me, I think)
-Learn Japanese
-Go clubbing
-Take part in real science - first year school labs = not cutting it here. (once I have some lab experience, ie, after first year labs are done, I am so volunteering to be a cleaning-bitch for someone in Microbi, because I really am that sad).
-Do something with my OCs, either fic or RP.
-Learn swordfighting.
-Become a better photographer.
-Have really fantastic sex.

Dream City

Monday, 6 March 2006 05:23
momijizukamori: Green icon with white text - 'I do believe in phosphorylation! I do!' with a string of DNA basepairs on the bottom (Tax Seaon // Evil!Tatsumi)
So, last night proved that staying up way too late does weird things, although in the best way possible. Fell alseep around seven after staying up talking to Anna for a few hours, and had a dream of this city. There was a big plaza, with shops around it - I don't remember other people being there. Overheard, there was a low, solid cover of light grey clouds - it almost looked like a very high ceiling. In amoung the clouds, I could see the silhouette of a giant archway - it looked liked it was probably stone. The ends were all smooth, but the center portion of the arch was all rubbley. It was rather awe-inspiring, if hard to properly describe.

And now, for the daily Resident Evil ramble. Alfred is now in contention with Steve for the title of 'Ultimate RE n00b', mostly because Ben and I learned today that he does what we refer to as the n00b laugh. It's this really obnoxious, mocking laugh that Ben and his friends do a lot - you kind of have to hear it to understand XD; But Alfred does it. And wow, is he crazy. Also, Wesker showed up! Finally. Although, I have to admit that I like his voice in remake better. The British accent isn't bad, but I really loved the more accentless-but-perfect-enunciation he had going in remake. He is still a snappy dresser, though. And I am willing to accept the hair because Jo pointed out that unlike basically every single Final Fantasy character ever, his hair actually makes sense - he was a research scientist before becoming the leader of S.T.A.R.S. and then moving on to, as far as I can tell, found and run his own evil megacorporation (although he still found time to experiment on himself along the way - go, Wesker-superpowers!). And hair that stays out of your face is good in such situations.

Also, for the 'Cocoa Is An Idiot' file - I decided to do some more wood-carving on the Masamune. In my room. And then my vacuum decided it didn't like wood-shavings, and it took me almost as long to clean up the mess as it took to make it.

Cities

Saturday, 24 December 2005 12:40
momijizukamori: Green icon with white text - 'I do believe in phosphorylation! I do!' with a string of DNA basepairs on the bottom (Rufus // Fallen Prince)
This little ramble has been building, well, ever since Rufus moved in, pretty much, although I think being down here is what finally catalyzed it. So this is kind of about him, and kind of about me, but mostly about cities.

I am inherently a city-girl, I think. It probably comes of being born in the largest city in New England, or at least nearly there - I always kind of think of Cambridge as being part of Boston, although it's more a suburb - and then mostly growing up in the second/third largest. These cities both have a certain sort of character to them - New England cities all do, I think. It comes of being three hundred plus years old, and having the city slowly build up around it, like sand accumulating on a beach. It means they are an absolute maze of alleys, one-ways, and rotaries (traffic circles to the rest of you), but at the same time, they start to feel almost alive. Even my city as some of that, and as a result, while I profess to hate it most of the time, I also have a strange sort of twisted affection for the place, because it has that character that many of the cities in the southwest, and down here in Florida never seem to have.

Which brings me to Midgar. I had the realization the other night that the Midgar in my head is not quite the Midgar we see in the game. Some of it is just the diffence that comes of taking a place in a game where every town consists of roughly five buildings (One inn, one item shop, one weapons shop, one house containing a plot point, and one extra) and making it into a real world. Underneath the plate always kind of registers as being like the more broken down parts of my city - it was a big Industrial Revolution boom-town, but never really got past that, and has huge sections filled with old brick factories and warehouses. Some of these have been converted and refinished - my school is in one of them - but many of them are abandoned. Likewise, when the Plate was built, in my Midgar, there were big swaths of old factories and warehouses that were mostly just abandoned. Asher and company actually live in a smaller one, the back half of which has partially collapsed, along with parts of the stairs. I think this particular view on the lower city is why I always have so much trouble imagining what it's like with the plate overhead.

Upper-plate Midgar, on the other hand, always registers as being kind of like the nicer bits of Boston. Lots of shops, nice houses (if Rufus lived in Boston, he'd totally be in one of the really fancy brownstones), with trees lining the sidewalks, and towering skyscrapers. It also always has that slightly worn quality about it - in Boston, it comes from the city's age, and in Midgar, from it's attitudes. It gives both cities that sense of depth and realism, though - that character. Shinra Tower is where game-Midgar and my-Midgar really start to diverge, though. Shinra Tower in the game has a weird sort of organic quality in it's design that could probably best be described as a Mac designer gone wild, and it doesn't fit with the rest of the design. Midgar is very much a cyberpunk city, and there is something very inherently 80s (and in my view, 90s gone nasty, although that's a matter of perspective) about cyberpunk, and in terms of design, it means steel and concrete, mirrored glass, sharp corners, and a little bit of griminess about it. So Shinra Tower always registers in my mind as one of the finanancial buildings in my downtown, which is big and rectangular and entirely done in mirrored glass on the outside. On the inside, it's more a traditional corporate builing, if a very big one with high-tech security and the like, and I'll probably always write it as such.

I've got much the same relationship with Midgar as I have with far more real cities. I must confess, when I first started playing FF7, I was a little thrown by the fact that it started in this giant, very modern city, instead of the more usual fantasy-esque landscapes of the earlier SNES games. But a couple of hours in, when it comes time to leave the city, I didn't want to go, and was rather upset when I couldn't get back in. I definately think my own feelings about Midgar, and my city, and Boston come out in Rufus and Asher and Ally's feelings towards that city. One of my vivid memories of the last year or so is taking the train into Boston the night after Claudia and I broke up, listening to the incredibly awesome Turks FST (which I will gladly share with anyone, as it's just that good), and watching the lights of the city around me as the train pulled into South Station. The feeling of that moment can't quite be captured in words, although I hope I at least touched that here.

Guardian

Monday, 24 October 2005 05:12
momijizukamori: Green icon with white text - 'I do believe in phosphorylation! I do!' with a string of DNA basepairs on the bottom (Yuna :: Dreamer)
And insomnia strikes again. So more random introspective crap - stuff that's been floating through my head over the last few months, although it came to the surface the other day in a conversation I was having with Ari.

I have a great big streak of protector in me. Not really the mothering sort, 'cause I totally fail at that, but the kind of person I want to be in a relationship is the gentleman, the knight in shining armor, the refuge. Which I think is what occasionally gets me into trouble, because I can't live up to that ideal all the time.

I think this definately influences the types of pairings and characters I like and identify with, too. If you look at some of my favorites - Hamlet/Horatio, Cain/Riff, Auron/Braska, Clow/Yue - they've all got that sort of master/guardian dynamic in them, although in different forms. And the characters I identify the most strongly with - notably Horatio and Riff, there - are definately the protectors in the relationship.

And I've really got no idea where I'm going with all this...just thoughts, really.

On a total tangent, I feel like taking icon requests again. Anybody want one?
momijizukamori: Green icon with white text - 'I do believe in phosphorylation! I do!' with a string of DNA basepairs on the bottom (Riff)
Hamlet presentations went over surprisingly well - there were good bits, there were bad bits, but it was enjoyable. I have tons of photos, I'll share them once I've got them uploaded and edited and what-not.

Now...where to begin on talking about this year. Surprisingly enough, through all of my bitching and stressing and lack of sleep, it was really good. I had some really wonderful people in my class, and some wonderful teachers, and, well, I felt like I belonged, in a way I never have. I was pushed to my limits, past them, and it really showed what I can do when I need to.

I'll start with the teachers, it's easiest that way. Mr. Gagne was probably my favorite - he was such a huge shameless geek, and he was witty, which always made his classes a lot of fun. I'm happy he's going to be there next year. Then there's Mrs. Ferrell. I had my doubts at the begining of the year - she seemed nice, but without much inner strength to back it up. But she turned out to be a really great person, and I loved her class a lot. She's retiring now that the year is over, which makes me sad ;; But she promised to come back for our graduation next year. Mr. Barys - I hated his class material (mostly because I was bad at it), but I love him. He wears sandals all the time and is very casual and friendly and funny. Mrs. Bonneau was great too - she's tiny, and acts almost like a kid sometimes - she gets even more excited by snow days than we do. Mrs. Lang was nice too, even if I think I kind of frustrated her during RS - she was my advisor. We actually thought she'd be moving on to a different job next year, but she was offered a permanent position as of the day before yesterday, so she's staying, yay! Mrs. Dodge I had kind of a love-hate relationship with, as is evidenced by some of my posts here, but I think by the end of the year, I've grown to like her. She's leaving, too, and it's going to be wierd without her there next year.

...And the second part of this will come later, I think. I'm going to take a nap before Star Wars =.=

Music

Wednesday, 18 May 2005 22:55
momijizukamori: Green icon with white text - 'I do believe in phosphorylation! I do!' with a string of DNA basepairs on the bottom (Default)
So, I was wandering around fic rec lists and came across this one, which is very beatiful, and got me thinking. I think, if I could have one creative talent that I don't think I really do right now, it's that I wasn't so damn tone deaf. Being able to draw well or write better would be nice, but music is more integral to me than either of those.

I think most of the people here who've known me for a few years know this, but for those who don't, I used to play flute. Well, I suppose I still do, technically, but I haven't had much time for it this year. I started in fifth grade, and I was in the concert band in middle school and the first two years of high school - not this year, though. I didn't like playing in band a lot, mostly because I didn't like a lot of my band, and I didn't like the pieces we played, but I liked, and still like playing pieces I like, on my own. And I like to sing, although I tend to be too embarassed and self-concious of how off-key I am in anything but church hymns and Christmas carols to sing when other people are listening, but if I know the words or melody to a song, I'll start singing along - drove Ben crazy when I was playing Kingdom Hearts. And through that, I'm always frustrated by the fact that I can't keep on key - I can tell when I'm off, but not how to fix it.

It's kind of strange. I've been surrounded by music a my whole life, pretty much. My mother sings fairly well, and used to play flute. My dad, like I am, is a bit tone-deaf, but doesn't care, and plays the guitar and banjo well. I grew up listening to 102.5, the NPR classical station. Music is comforting to me.

...Wow. I've been really introspective lately. I think it's part reading too many R/S fics, and the fact that school is ending, and that I've had a lot of time to myself recently - when left alone, I think, and this is both a good and a bad thing.

Life Lessons

Sunday, 10 April 2005 01:52
momijizukamori: Green icon with white text - 'I do believe in phosphorylation! I do!' with a string of DNA basepairs on the bottom (Riff)
I've been meaning to make this entry for a while, but my current discussion with Mara sort of pushed me into actually doing it.

There's a very important lesson I learned a year or two ago, from Winter. I was having a bad day, and we were talking about it, and I said something to the effect that I felt bad about talking about it to her because it was such a small thing and bothered me anyway, and she has so many more problems than I do. And she said something to the effect of 'No, it's still a big thing, because it important to you.'

Which is to say, that something that seems trivial to one person could mean a lot to someone else, and that we shouldn't judge other people's problems, really. I've begun to realize recently exactly how important that gift she gave me was...it's a special kind of trust, to know I can tell her things that bother me without fear that she'll get angry or upset or scoff at me. It's the trust that she won't judge, and I think sometimes, at least to me, that's more important than being able to trust someone to privacy.

It's also something I try my best to offer to all my friends. I hope you all can trust me not to judge ^^

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